I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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