so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's blow job season.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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