YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
they're like a gay fantastic four
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
