okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
