girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
