Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
