I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize