That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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