Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
