Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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