I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
