Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize