Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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