I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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