Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I need water and some morals
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
