you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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