dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Semen is not good for contacts.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You ruined the universe
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
