Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize