his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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