Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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