for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
