so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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