So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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