If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
