I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
