i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
