what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
