i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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