Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
