But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
