Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
