We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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