I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i now understand why vodka
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
