Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
