just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
