When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
