She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
