I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Don't make out with my wife yet
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize