Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
