Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
