I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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