I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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