Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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