I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
