so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
