Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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