so that wasnt chicken after all
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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