At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
