Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My pussy is not your playground.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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