I hate all girls vehemently.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
