You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
