omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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