I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
