We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
