so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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