i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize