I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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