I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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